A Master’s in Procrastination

It’s official. I have received my Master’s in Procrastination. I believe this article may even serve as my dissertation for a PhD.

How did I master the art of procrastination you may ask? Well, it wasn’t all peas and carrots. First, one must have a few innate traits:

One: To achieve a Master’s, you must be a perfectionist. In order to be a procrastinator, you must want to achieve your best in everything you do; after all, isn’t this why we procrastinate? If we were ok with half-assing our projects we would blow them out like bubbles made with cheap dish soap, never worrying on the quality, size, or longevity of the bubbles!

Two: To achieve a Master’s, you must know it is an art within itself. Have you ever met that person who procrastinates and pulls it out in the end, whether it be a project, college paper, or making the necessary monies due? You look at them and think “what the heck?!?! (Insert expletive) Is it because you have been super-organized and did a little at a time, making use of a well-managed timetable? Well, I haven’t. Not ever. I am a procrastinator. I am that person above. Then pull it out of my, mmm, back pocket at the eleventh hour.

I sometimes live in angst for doing this and has become my best and worst habit over my many years of perfecting the Master’s. My best habit because I have created a habit of working well under pressure and powering out the results as needed. My worst habit, well, do I really need to spell them out? Ok.

Three: To achieve a Master’s you must have poor time management skills. Undo stress; feelings of despair; the need for perfection, the fear of disappointing those depending on me. Oh, the list could continue but I have another article to power out after this one, hahaha.

I really believe that being a procrastinator is not a positive trait. However, it does reveal other positive traits about the ever-growing group of us. So how do you undo a well-received doctorate in a trait that only shows our inner weaknesses to the world around us?

Well, plan, plan, plan and work the damn plan! If you have a project due in two weeks, set aside 2 hours a day to work on just that project at a slotted time rather than wait until two days before, buckling down with little or no bathroom breaks, order in food and feel the pressures of the clock inside your head! Tick-tock, tick-tock, ticking like a time bomb AHAHAHAHHAHHHHHH the pressure!!

I personally procrastinate not because of the above excuses/positive traits, but because I want the end product to be perfect. Therefore I avoid, thinking I need to have the right amount of time, the right mindset, and the correct motivation before I can begin. So I will call B.S. (not a Bachelor of Science) on myself.

Life is never the way we think it should be in our mind of perfection. Life is perfect by your own design. So we need to relieve our own angst and STOP procrastinating. New Year’s Resolution #1 is to return the Master’s in Procrastination and graduate to the University of Hard Knocks! (registrations now being taken)
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